Can someone create a transcript of what is being said? I’m deaf/hoh so can’t make out some words. Thanks!
Got ya covered dude.
Transcript:
Red Shorts: I’ll give you a different kind of clap bomb, boys. Four pink pills and she’s gone though, I promise.
Yellow Shirt: Let’s set up in Gretz’s office boys, work my quiet zone.
Red Shorts: Remember the Louisville rubber shaft? I have a Daxy-ville rubber shaft…
Yellow Shirt: Let’s have a Ronnybrook.
Red Shorts: Short side? Far side? Blind side? Gimme your best shot.
Yellow Shirt: Five hole’s wiiiide open, boys. Take it. TAKE IT!
Red Shorts: I can stick handless out a phone booth, boys- let’s see your handless
Yellow Shirt: I’m a late round performer, boys- let’s go seven.
[Pause while Green Shirt and Orange Shirt applaud]
Green Shirt: I have to say boys- that is some of the finest chirping that I have ever received.
Orange Shirt: Ever!
Green Shirt: And your shrines too, your temples, my God, first team all stars.
Orange Shirt: Big tap to the temples, boys, two days written all over you.
Red Shorts: But… people aren’t supposed to enjoy being catcalled.
Yellow Shirt: Yeah. S’posed to… not… enjoy being catcalled.
Green Shirt: Yeah, okay, fuck, buddy if anybody knows how hot we are, you’re lookin’ at ‘em.
Orange Shirt: There’s a line up around the block for this pop up shop.
Green Shirt: Yeah, nobody’s kickin’ this kid outta bed for eatin’ crackers, that’s for sure.
Orange Shirt: I’ve yet to see one customer not come back for seconds at that buffet.
Green Shirt: Bet you thought that everybody skips the continental breakfast. Guess what- they don’t.
Orange Shirt: Take this ride, you’re gettin’ right back in line, boys.
Red Shorts: Truth is, you’re not really our type, boys.
Green Shirt: Bull-fuckin’-shit.
Orange Shirt: Think we don’t see you rockin’ semis?
Red Shorts: We’re gay guys at the gym, we’re always rockin’ semis.
Yellow Shirt: It’s true though- you’re not our type.
Orange Shirt: What is your type then, you fuckin’ liar?
Yellow Shirt & Red Shorts(Reverently): Otters.
Green Shirt: Like the… Eerie Otters?
Orange Shirt: Like the Cal State Monterey Bay Otters?
Red Shorts: No, otters are what we call skinny hairy dudes.
Green Shirt: Points for creativity, boys.
Orange Shirt: Love the hussle, boys.
Green Shirt: …So, like… what are we s’posed to call you then, our gay buddies from the gym, or…?
Red Shorts: We took gay in the expansion draft from you about a hundred years back.
Orange Shirt: Butch?
Yellow Shirt: Shout out to our sisters in the Women’s League.
Green Shirt: Brute?
Red Shorts: ‘Brute’ had a cup of coffee and a show a few decades back but never really produced for either of us.
Orange Shirt: Bear?
Yellow Shirt: You guys released ‘bear’ a while back for under-performing and we got her at a friendly price. Been a real stud for us ever since.
Green Shirt: Cub?
Red Shorts: ‘Cub’s’ been consistent since you put her on a line with ‘bear’.
Orange Shirt: Poofta?
Yellow Shirt: Still playing oversees. Likely gonna retire there.
Green Shirt: Nelly.
Red Shorts: Oh, your grandpa remembers that alumni.
Orange Shirt: Homo.
Yellow Shirt: ‘Homo’ may be in your ring of honor, but never forget the body checks our goons threw down to end that career.
Green Shirt: Queen!
Red Shorts: Produced the best arena music of all time. But still, it’s only for some.
[Pause while Green Shirt and Orange Shirt look at each other]
Green Shirt: …I’m not fuckin’ saying it…
Yellow Shirt & Red Shorts: ‘Fag’?
Orange Shirt(Uncomfortably): …Not sure that’s PC, but you said it…
Yellow Shirt: Fag got cut in the 80s, and may have cleared waivers, but… we all made a gentlemen’s agreement not to sign it, because of behavior detrimental to the league.
[Brief pause]
Red Shorts: Call me Dax.
Yellow Shirt: I’m Ron.
Green Shirt(Cheerfully): Fuck, let’s be buddies, Daxy!
Orange Shirt: Let’s be buds, Ronzy!
Dax: Really?
Green Shirt: Yeah! You guys slam fresh butts, we slam fresh box, and the world keeps on turnin’ boys. Well fuck, come over here and lay some skin on me Daxy!
Orange Shirt: Lay some skin on meh Ronzy!
[Moment of confusion as Green and Orange move for high fives and Dax and Ron do… something.]
Green Shirt(In good natured confusion): Uh… Jonesy and I usually just fist each other, like… like this, like that.
Orange Shirt(Demonstrating to Ron): No, it’s definitely like this…
Dax: Oh, okay.
Green Shirt(Turning to Orange Shirt- Jonesy- with a sigh): I guess we better go talk to Katy-cat, buddy.
Jonesy: Time to break it to Katy-cat, buddy.
[Jonesy pauses]
Jonesy(Turning back to Dax and Ron): Wait- you seriously don’t wanna bang us, you fuckin… liars…?
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